The return of the bendy banana

After years of fruit being wasted and prices pushed up for the sake of petty Brussels bureaucratic regulations, it seems a reprieve is finally coming. (BBC News: EU to cut out wonky fruit rules) In these troublesome economic times anything that will help reduce prices can only be a step forward.

But why did the European Union ever adopt such absurd proposals in the first place? They do nothing to benefit the consumer. Were the bureaucrats just looking for things to do?

LGBT group commit heterosexism

You couldn't make it up... A former Mayor of Cambridge has been accused of being "heterosexist" by an LGBT group after he said more homes for families should be built. (BBC News: Mayor demands 'anti-gay' apology) Has this LGBT group lost the plot? LGBT people have families too!

Do people REALLY fall for this?

Amongst the huge amount of spam I've received today, one email was offering me an instant university degree. Reading it I can't understand why anyone's fooled:

Hi [position]!.!

Well that's a good start - confusing my name for some position I once held. Never really on bots to retrieve email addresses.

A Genuine Univers1ty Degree 1n 4-6 weeks!

With such wonderful spelling it probably is a genuine "univers1ty" degree!

Have you ever thought that the only thing stopping you from a great job and better pay was a fe wletters behind you name?
Well now you can get them!

What are a "fe wletters"? And just how do a few letters after the name in themselves provide a booster? Recruiters look at where you got the degree from, not whether or not you have some fancy letters after the name. Is having purchased a degree granted by Tinpot Theological College in some US state in the Bible Belt really going to stand out on a CV?

Within 4-6 weeks!
No Study Requierd!
100% Verifiable!

Yes I'm sure anyone Googling for details of this university aren't going to come across it on a list of diploma mills.

These are real, genuine degrees that include Bachelors, Matsers, MBA and Doctorate Degrees. They are fully verifiable and certified transcripts are also available.

Okay Americans may do things differently, but isn't the adjective "Doctoral" not "Doctorate"? In any case I'm sure a genuine "Matsers" degree is going to stand out.

You?ll htank me later?

Indeed, what a question! Whoever wrote this probably got the job by flashing a Buy It Now degree.

Finally we have this curious ending:

retire. First, they had fought their way from the battlefield, menwould dart in and slash the hamstrings of his enemy. Lucilius's eyes

And no, I've no idea what that means!